Well last night was rather interesting for the MTV VMAs. I thought that Madonna did an excellent job in her tribute speech to Michael Jackson. I actually had chill bumps for a minute. Then there was Lady Gaga and her crazy outfits. I wasn’t sure if she was going to a Mardi Gras ball or the VMAs. And what is with her performance and the blood scene? It reminded me of a scene from the 80’s Carrie thriller.

I was rather disappointed at Kanye for taking Taylor Swift’s spotlight. That wasn’t necessary and was outright rude. Jay-Z and Alicia Keys topped of the night with the Empire State of Mind song.

The VMAs were more about the wackiness than the actual winners this year.

We recently launched our new community message board named the “Crestview Chatter”.

You can find it: http://forums.crestviewbulletin.com

You are encourage to share your comments on local news, politics, sports, and general topics.

Check out my latest post:

http://forums.crestviewbulletin.com/showthread.php?t=32

I was once told that you cannot make someone happy.  But you can make yourself happy and share your happiness with someone that wants to share there’s with you. 

I’ve been reflecting on happiness a lot lately.  I know that too many people go through life complacent and bored.  It is our life-long right to ensure our own happiness.  Why wake up one day and realize that you’ve wasted your life being unhappy.  Make sure each day that you remove barriers to happiness.  Increase your focus on things that make you happy as this will increase your drive and belief in yourself. 

Happiness can manifest itself in many arenas.  Your family, job, hobbies, volunteer work, or your love life can all increase your happiness.  Music can help your mood and demeanor which in turns can drive the happy meter upward.

If you are not happy please do something about it.  Because if you don’t you will wake up with your life as a distant memory and then you die.

You control your own destiny and your own happiness.

God is love…

G.A.M.

This has been a very sad week.  We have ran many stories about the police shootings in every paper every day.  I came home last night after the memorial at the Crestview Community Center and hugged my son.  I know that Officer Lopez and Officer York were both family men and they leave their beautiful families behind.  These men gave up their lives to protect our county.  They were retired military men who served to protect our country. 

These men are heroes in my book.

I was driving back to work today after lunch and I saw all the police vehicles surrounding Central Baptist Church for Officers Lopez’ funeral.  There were cops form Louisiana, Texas, and various other cities and counties.

Make sure that every single cop you see that you take the time out and shake their hands and tell them, “THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU DO!”

Officer Lopez and Officer York: Rest in Peace gentlemen.

I have been contemplating lately on when to put my son in organized sports.  He is four years old and he turns five in November.  He has amazing left arm and his kicking ability is superb.  I noticed this when he was three when he picked up a tennis ball and sent a line drive buzzing at my head.  Keep in mind that I don’t want to be one of those parents that forces their kids to play sports.  I grew up down the street from a boy that his dad made him pitch in his backyard at 12 years old instead of riding bikes and climbing trees like every other boy.  I think that I will wait until he is 5 or 6.  I want him to understand the flow of the game.  The main goal is for him to exercise and have fun.  I was thinking tee ball and soccer. 

What are your thoughts?

We start life roaming aimlessly without any direction or purpose.  Our parents tend to push us in certain directions.  If we look back on our childhood we can find many factors that have shaped us into who we are today.

I grew up as an only child.  I’ve heard several times that that explains it all.  I didn’t have any siblings to deal with and or learn to share.  I was the center of attention.  I played four sports in high school and graduated third in my class with a 4.24 GPA.  I have never made a B.  I guess you would have considered me a nerd.  I was into taking computers apart and fixing them.  I ran my first Bulletin Board Service or BBS when I was 14 years old.  I never dated until I was 17 years old.  I graduated at 150 lbs. soaking wet.  I looked like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite.  My mom still has a picture of me at her house that all my friends laugh out when they come over.  But it reminds me of who I used to be.

My first year of college I because engaged to my high school sweetheart.  After a year of being engaged I caught her cheating on me and it broke my heart.  Sometimes in life we need to get knocked down to rock bottom before we can choose to pick ourselves back up and make a change.

I joined a Fraternity and gained a ton of friends but I also stopped playing sports and tended to drink beer 7 nights a week.  Although my grades never suffered I gained 45 lbs my first year of college.  I guess it was from depression, alcohol and downright laziness.  I looked in the mirror one day and didn’t like the person that I saw.  I didn’t like me.

My best friend, Tim Bennett was a manager at Gold’s Gym on Nine Mile Road in Pensacola, FL.  He would also tell me to come and workout.  I would always make an excuse.  I said, “I really don’t know what to do.”  He said, “I will show you.” After a while of making excuses I agreed to come to the gym and try it out.  Tim pushed me and I liked it.  I took all my negative energy out on the weights.  I lost all the beer fat and Taco bell weight that I had put on in three months.  Then met a nutritionalist and started learning how to eat healthy.  Over the past 10 years I have been pushing myself and building muscle.  I now weight 230 lbs.  I have been a competitive bodybuilder for the past 8 years.

I found that bodybuilding was my therapy.  It helped heal me too.  I transformed into a new person.  I was motivated not only in the gym but at work and in life.  I became a confident individual who learned to take care of myself first.  In 2000, I shaved me head bald.  Not because I was balding but because I knew that I would be bald one day and I was curious to see what it would look like.  Not all heads are created equal.  I was afraid that I had a huge Frankenstein type scar under all that hair from my childhood days.  But to my dismay I had a rather round head.  So I vowed to myself that I would never grow my hair back.  It was another factor that created me.

While I was in college I got a job as a computer salesman at Tech Advanced Computers in Pensacola, FL.  When I graduated I was promoted to the store manager of the Tech Advanced Computers in Fort Walton Beach in Uptown station.  I actually was given the opportunity to open my own store.  I work there for 3 years while community back to Pensacola.  I got tired of the retail environment and was looking at working back in Pensacola.  The Daily News was one of my clients and was in need of a Network Engineer. 

After three years I moved up to the Systems Manager.  Two years later I was named the Panhandle IT Director for the Daily News, Destin Log, and Walton Sun.  At 27, I was the youngest department head in the entire Freedom Communications.

When I was 28 I had my first child.  I named him Jaxson Bryce Mobley.  His name is like Jason with an X.  Someone once told me that children will change your whole life.  And it did.  Once I saw his face a warmth came over me that I can’t explain.  But every parent here knows what I am talking about.  A love for a child is stronger than any love that I have ever had.  It is completely different than the love that I have for my wife.  I looked my son in the eyes when he was a little baby and made him a promise that I would be the best damn dad that he will ever see.  My son is my world.  He taught me how to love unconditionally.

In February, I was promoted to the General Manager of the Crestview News Bulletin.  I have always been in management and wanted to run a newspaper.  I have learned a lot about Crestview and what it has to offer. 

We are now the largest city in Okaloosa County.  It is not only our privilege but also our obligation to make sure that we continue to work together to make Crestview grow and prosper. 

I want to close with a few words of wisdom that I’ve learned along the way.

1.  Having Time:  You make time for the things that you want to do.

2.  Happiness: A wise man once said, “You cannot make someone happy.”  But you can make yourself happy and share your happiness with someone else that wants to share theirs with you.

3.  Change: Pee or get off of the pot.  If there are things about yourself that you don’t like.  Then do something about it.  Or if they are truly beyond your control then let them go.

4.  Find your own motivation.  Motivation cannot be taught it has to be found from within.

5.  Be the best parent you can be.  Put your children before yourself.  Ant take time to actually list to them.

6.  Live each day as it was your last.

7.  If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

8.  If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

9.  Hold you head up because you have every right to.  Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself.  It you don’t believe in yourself, no one will believe in your either.  You can make of your life anything you wish.

Good luck and much success in 2009.

If you are a Democrat or a Republican, please make sure you vote for your candidate on Tuesday, November 4th.  We are all concerned with our current ecomonic status.  I try to not talk politics with folks because conversations can get heated and get nowhere.  But I do believe we all have a responsiblity to vote for our choice.

Let’s hope we put a great leader in charge of our country!

Sincerely,

 Alagirl

 Response:

Alagirl,

 To make this decision I believe that you have to weight out a couple of variables.

 1.  How long have you been married and how strong is your marriage?

2.  Does the amount of money you make set your future up to be financially sound?

3.  Does the job your husband have absolutely require him to stay here?

4.  Will you be able to afford to live in Okalhoma while your husband and family lives here?

5.  Can you afford flying home frequently to spend time with your family?

Once you answer all the questions above you will be in a better situation to answer the ultimate question.  I believe that you are actually faced with a good oppotunity that can move your GS rank up quickly.  It could take you a long time to move your rank up that fast depending on your job function and your competition.  There are plenty of families in our area that face this problem all the time.  Air Force men and women that serve our country overseas tend to have to be away from their families for at least 1 to 2 year spans.  They put themselves in the face of danger to protect our freedoms. 

I think you should take the promotion either way.  You might never be faced with an opportunity like this again.  What you have to decide is if you and your family is strong enough to handle the long distance relationship.  If not then have your husband move with you for two years unless his career absolutely will not allow it.  At the end of the day, both of you will have to determine what is best for your family, your marriage, and your future.

Good luck!

Jason

I psychoanalyze everything that happens to me and to other people that I am around.  I believe that you can draw accurate conclusions from past experiences, decisions that people make, and little details that people leave outside of their body.

 I have analyzed all of my friends, family members, and random people that I come into contact with.  I have always been right on the mark.  No, I don’t have E.S.P. but rather I listen and find the little pieces that matter.  I enjoy giving sound advice to all my friends.  I give non-biased advice on situations that I’ve personally experienced.

 I am offering a special free service to all of our readers.

 If you need advice on a particular situation please email me at jasonm@crestviewbulletin.com and include your situation and questions.  I will then post the question and my advice on my blog.

Here is an example of a recent situation that I was faced with from two close friends:

I am going to change the names to protect the innocent.  Frank and Sally have been married for three years and have a two year old son, Nick.  Frank and Sally are always arguing and they tend to air their “dirty laundry” in public.  Frank called me one day to vent about all the things that he couldn’t stand about Sally.  I listened and digested for a while.  Later that week I saw Sally in the gym and she gave me an ear full of Nick’s problems.  They were both considering getting a divorce.  I asked Frank if he minded that I met with the two of them to talk.  He agreed and I came over to give them some homework.  What I realized is that people tend to always say, “We argue all the time!”  The truth is that most people who argue a lot don’t argue about anything that truly matters.  They are quick to want to give up and walk away.  When I met with Frank and Sally I asked them if they wanted to work things out.  They both said, “yes BUT!” 

 Why is there always a BUT?

Frank and Sally were always focusing on what the other person did wrong without looking in the mirror and seeing what they did wrong too.  We can control our own actions but we can’t control the other party.  I gave both Frank and Sally a single sheet of paper with the numbers 1 through 5 numbered on it.  I asked Frank what he could personally do in the next month to make things better.  I then asked Sally what she could personally do in the next month to make the marriage better.  They both had one day to think about it and fill out the five items on the paper.  A day later they called and asked me to come by again.  Frank gave me his paper folded up.

 Here is what it read:

1.  Choose my battles

2.  Listen to Sally about her day at work

3.  Help Sally out with Nick more

4.  Make Friday date night

5.  Try to be more romantic

Sally then handed me her paper and here is it read:

1.  Stop trying to change Frank into a person he is not

2.  Don’t jump to conclusions before you know the entire story

3.  Work as a team on the family finances

4.  Stop verbally abusing Frank

5.  Love Frank unconditionally

I then tasked both Frank and Sally to work together on their personal 5 items.  I checked back in a month and they were talking more, fighting less, and spending romantic nights together on Fridays.  Frank and Sally are doing really good now.  They were able to work as a team to get over their arguing hump.  They are now better communicators and they look inside to change before expecting the other half to change.  I know that I didn’t solve their problems but I gave them a method to start the process.

 I look forward to helping you the best way I can.

 Remember, you will never have anything in life if you don’t work for it. 

Take care,

Jason

I’ve been struggling for the past few weeks to find what is the best way to motivate people.  It could be at the gym, at work, or in everyday life.  I am a very driven, motivated individual.  I knew what I wanted to be when I first started high school.  I am not one to accept life as it is today.  I push myself to become more successful in everything I do.   I used to think that money motivates people.  Money can only get you so far.  After heavy thought I came up with the main factor that motivates people.

Purpose…

People are motivated by purpose.  Purpose beyond materialism, beyond benefits, beyond compensation–beyond any tangible item.

People want to see results.  In the gym, you become motivated when you see your body change and transform from your hardwork.  At work, you are motivated by self-worth, achievements, and recognition for giving it your all.

I also thought about several individuals who I deem are motivated.  I am on the Crestview Chamber P.I.L.O.T. committee.  P.I.L.O.T. stands for Professional and Inspired Leaders of Tomorrow.  We are a young professionals committee that is constantly growing our membership.  Our two main purposes are networking and giving back to area youth through mentorship and community involvement.  I am also on the advisory board for P.I.L.O.T.  Each individual on the advisory board are absolutely motivated and driven.

Katie Sharon:  She is a commercial lender for Vanguard Bank.  She has her hands in everything.  If you join a new committee, organization or board, you can bet that Katie is already part of it.  She is one of the driving forces behind P.I.L.O.T. and is our committee chair.

Jenni Perkins:  She is the Publisher for Christian Community Managazine.  She is the current M.C. for our chamber breakfast and she knows everyone.

Tonda Haigler:  She is the new Assistant C.E.O. of North Okaloosa Medical Center.  Tonda is one of the busiest women I know.

Ashley Barrineau: She is a Crime Prevention Specialist for the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office.  Ashley is part of all the chambers and is a member of the Junior League of the Emeraldcoast.

Stephanie Baggett:  She is the Office Manager for the Crestview Chamber.  She does all this while she is fully pregnant and ready to become a momma.  Wayne Harris always says that Stephanie is the woman who makes everything happen at the Chamber.

Tanya Forsha:  She is the Branch Manager for Banktrust of Crestview.  Tanya is also on the American Business Women’s Association organization of Crestview.

Nathan Boyles:  He is a local attorney in Crestview.  He is a Baker native and probably the youngest attorney every in Crestview.

 It is rewarding to see these individuals who are young, driven, and motivated to make Crestview a better place for tomorrow.

 What motivates you?