Ask Jason: Changing Jobs and a Long Distance Relationship
August 19th, 2008, 12:45 pm · Post a Comment · posted by jmobley
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Question: Jason, I have a problem that I need to have an un-biased opinion about. I am 46 years old and work for the federal government. I have just recently been offered an opportunity with the Air Force to be a member of their Palace Acquire Program (this is a program set aside for honor students – I just graduated in Dec with a 3.9 GPA in business). The problem I’m having is that I would have to go to Oklahoma for two years to receive the training program which is Management and Program Analyst. The program will afford me to go from a GS7 to a GS11 without competitive competition. So in other words in two years my income would be almost $64,000.00. Plus the program will pay off all of my student loans to the tune of $23,000.00. After the two years I would then have my choice of what Air Force base I would want to be at. I have two children who are 30 and 25 and I also have a husband. My problem is that my husband has a job here in the area that he dearly loves and I could not ask him to relocate. He tells me to go for the two years and fly home monthly because he does not want o hold back my career or dreams either. What would your take on this be if it were you or your wife? Would you be willing to give two years to secure your family’s future as well as your golden years? |
Sincerely,
Alagirl
Response:
Alagirl,
To make this decision I believe that you have to weight out a couple of variables.
1. How long have you been married and how strong is your marriage?
2. Does the amount of money you make set your future up to be financially sound?
3. Does the job your husband have absolutely require him to stay here?
4. Will you be able to afford to live in Okalhoma while your husband and family lives here?
5. Can you afford flying home frequently to spend time with your family?
Once you answer all the questions above you will be in a better situation to answer the ultimate question. I believe that you are actually faced with a good oppotunity that can move your GS rank up quickly. It could take you a long time to move your rank up that fast depending on your job function and your competition. There are plenty of families in our area that face this problem all the time. Air Force men and women that serve our country overseas tend to have to be away from their families for at least 1 to 2 year spans. They put themselves in the face of danger to protect our freedoms.
I think you should take the promotion either way. You might never be faced with an opportunity like this again. What you have to decide is if you and your family is strong enough to handle the long distance relationship. If not then have your husband move with you for two years unless his career absolutely will not allow it. At the end of the day, both of you will have to determine what is best for your family, your marriage, and your future.
Good luck!
Jason
