Today is the anniversary of my youngest sister’s death.  She would have been 42 this year.  She committed suicide in 2000 at my parent’s home.

I can never truly understand suicide and I probably never will.  My sister did not have the strength to live life.  I have dedicated my life to continuing where she left off.  My sister now lives through me, my kids, and my life successes.

At the funeral I read a poem that touched me.  I hope you take the time to read it out loud today because it will touch you too.

Tomorrow is not Promised

Author: Unknown

Sometimes people come into your life
and you know right away that they were meant to be there,
they serve some sort of purpose,
teach you a lesson
or help figure out who you are
and who you want to become

You never know who these people may be:
your neighbor, child, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger
who, when you lock eyes with them,
you know at that very moment that they will affect your life
in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you
and at the time they seem painful and unfair,
but in reflection you realize
that without overcoming those obstacles
you would have never realized
your potential strength, will power, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason.
Nothing happens by chance
or by means of good or bad luck.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity
all occur to test the limits of your soul.

Without these small tests,
whether they be events, illnesses or relationships,
life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere,
safe and comfortable,
but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life
and the successes and downfalls you experience
create who you are,
and even the bad experiences can be learned from,
In fact, they are probably the poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart,
forgive them,
for they have helped you learn about trust
and the importance of being cautious to
whom you open your heart…

If someone loves you,
love them back unconditionally,
not only because they love you,
but because they are teaching you to love
and opening your heart and eyes to things
you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count.
Appreciate every moment
and take from it everything that you possibly can,
for you may never be able to experience it again…

Talk to people you have never talked to before,
and actually listen,
let yourself fall in love,
break free and set your sights high…

Hold your head up
because you have every right too.
Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself…
for if you don’t believe in yourself,
no one else will believe in you either.
You can make of your life anything you wish.

Create your own life
and then go out and live in it!
“Live Each Day As If It Were Your Last…
Tomorrow is Not Promised”

Rest in Peace Tina Tompkins, I LOVE YOU SIS!

I have a 3 year old son who is my life.  I also have two step children that are 12 and 10.  I was sitting at my desk today trying to express what I thought it was to be a good dad.

Here it goes:

My parents divorced when I was 2 years old.  My mother remarried when I was 5 to the most loving man.  I visted to real dad every other weekend until I was 14.  Once I turned 15 it seemed as if I was not as important anymore.  My real dad had a son with my step mother who lived with him.  I always felt he loved him more than me.  I have not talked to my dad since I was 18 years old.  I turned 32 a few weeks ago.  Now my stepdad was always there for me and taught me everything in life a dad should.  He taught me how to catch a fish, throw a ball, and swing a golf club.  My stepdad had 3 daughters of his own but never a son.  When my mom and stepdad were married my step sisters were alot older and were married and living on their own.  My stepdad never treated me as a stepchild.  He always made me feel like I was his own.  Over time I started calling him dad.  The lesson that I learned from him is that it takes a man with a huge heart to take in a child (not his own) and treat me like his own.  I’ve always respected my stepdad for that.  He is now living in an assisted living home with alzheimers disease.   Even though he is getting older and slowly fading away, he is still my hero and has taught me the qualities of a great dad. 

I was once told that when you have a child it will change your whole life in seconds.  The minute that I saw my son’s face I felt this warmth come over me.  I felt complete and whole.  I instantly cried and realized that I now a dad.  I have to admit that having children have made me more sensitive.  For example I was watching a tv show the other day where a man was separated from his son for 6 weeks and they were reunited.  I started crying on the couch.  It made me realize how much I love my children and how much I appreciate them everyday. 

I have dedicated my life to being a good dad.  I believe that children only get one chance to have a good childhood.  Parents must realize that not raising their children properly or not giving their kids a ton of love and attention will create problems for them later in life.  Look at anyone today in prison and ask them about their childhood.  I would almost guarantee that many of them had a bad childhood or a bad relationship with their parents.  We have a responsiblity as parents to do the best job we can.  It always blows my mind to see a father or mother leave their kids behind or not want them in their life.  I could not live life everyday without my children.  If I have a stressful day at work I know that I can go home and play with my son and all my troubles are gone.  My little man told me the other day that I was his best friend.  That made my entire year! 

So here is what I learned from my stepdad, my life exeriences, and having children of my own has taught me about being a good dad:

• Make sure that you put your children first; even before yourself
• Every decision you make should be centered around your family
• Take the time out of your busy day to talk with your kids and listen
• Tell your kids that you love them everyday
• Be your kids best friend as well as their parent
• Teach them right from wrong
• Take the time to play with your kids
• It is ok if your kids are not just like you
• Kids will make mistakes and it is ok; teach them to learn from their mistakes
• If your single and you meet a single mom, be open minded about loving a child that is not your own (this is very rewarding!)
• It is ok to cry if you are a man because that really shows you how much you love your kids

And the most important thing that will make you be a good dad…

Show your kids unconditional love!

 Make sure that when you go home today you hug your kids and tell them that you love them.  Squeeze them tight and close your eyes and enjoy how good that feels.  I am sure that your kids will look at you funny but that’s ok!

We all have our own pet peeves.  I was sitting at my desk yesterday and wondered what I considered my main pet peeves.

Here are mine:

• People who say they are going to do something and they don’t:  Have you ever asked a friend if they were going to come to your birthday dinner and they say, “I will be there for sure.”  Then they make up some B.S. excuse why they can’t come.  I would rather they tell me upfront that they can’t come
• Habitual liars:  I cannot stand people who feel necessary to constantly lie to seem worthy.  Honesty is the best policy!
• People who complain about things but don’t do anything to fix them:  If you have a problem then do something about it.  If your problem is beyond your control then stop worrying about it.  We spend too much time in life worrying or complaining.
• Lateness:  I don’t like people who are always late or tardy
• Half empty people:  I like to be an optimist.  Have you ever met someone who always look at the negative of each situation?
• Throwing people under the bus:  I don’t like people who take every opportunity to stab you in the back or throw you under the bus.
• Running out of TP and not replacing it:  Why don’t people get a new roll of toilet paper when they use the last bit?
• People who smoke in front of children: Children don’t have a choice when adults and/or parents smoke in front of them.  I’ve met several children that now have asthma as a result of second hand smoke
• Parents who don’t require there children to wear seat belts
• Leaving irons, hair dryers, and hair straigheners plugged in (cough, cough… MY WIFE!)
• Littering or throwing cigarettes out of their car window
• Spammers:  especially friends who constantly forward all joke or chain emails!

MY #1 PET PEEVE IS:  People who let life pass them by and have nothing to show for it.  Strive to make a difference in this world!

What are yours?

I am really looking forward to your comments to my blogs.  I see that plenty of people are reading my blog but they don’t comment.  Share your opinions with me!

I built a house in a new Crestview subdivision with a homeowner’s association.  This is my third home, and I’ve never had to deal with a HOA.   My assumption is that the HOA is setup to protect the individual residents.  They are supposed to make sure that all residents are abiding by the covenants. 

I’ve never had to deal with my HOA since I built my home a year ago.  Recently, I revieved an invoice stating that I owed my association fee bill of $200.  No problem right?  Wrong…  The bill stated that I was 90 days past due.  This is the first notice that I received.  I paid the bill immediately and figured that all was well.  I then received a certified letter from an the HOA’s attorney.  They stated that the HOA received my payment but I still owe the attorney $275 in legal fees.  I guess that since it was 90 days past due they sent me to collections. 

Did I receive a phone call or any notification?  Absolutely not!

The letter then stated that I had 45 days to pay the bill or they would put a lien on my home.

Are you serious?

I then did some research and realized HOA companies have every right to do this.

Why would I pay $275 in fees that are more than my $200 association fee ?

 I then emailed the president of the HOA and let him know that I didn’t receive the notice but I paid the bill and asked if this situation could be taken care of.  He told me to contact the attorney and would not even discuss the matter with me.

Why would I want to trust a company that is supposed to look out for my best interest that is now trying to force legal action on me?

From what I read online that many people across the country have a ton of HOA horror stories.

 If you don’t live in a home with a HOA, be thankful!

I would love to rally behind the my neighbors and get this ridiculous company dissolved!

 What would you do?

I have been a competitive bodybuilder for the past 8 years.  During this time I have uncovered a wealth of knowledge in exercising, weightlifting, and dieting.  I write diets for people who are motivated in making major changes in their body composition. 

I would like to be a resource to you.  Please send me your questions on healthy living, exercising, weighlifting, and dieting.  You can email me your questions at jasonm@crestviewbulletin.com.  I will post your question and my tips on my blog.

 Here is a picture of my April 2008 show (I am the bald guy that placed second):

I am a huge fan of So You Think You Can Dance on Fox.  If you watched the first episode you saw the amazing dancing of Robert Muraine.  He is a West coast popper who is also a contortionist.

 Check out his audition video:

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Last night they had Vegas call backs to determine the top 20 boys and top 20 girls.  Robert was in the crowd and was telling his fellow competitors that he was thinking about quitting.  The word got to the head judge, Nigel Lythgoe.  Nigel called Robert on stage and confronted him.  He said that he wanted to quit because the choreography was too hard and that he never had any formal training.  Nigel scolded Robert for wanting to give up and ask him to do his solo since three of the other judges hadn’t seen his talents.  He once again did an amazing routine that blowed the judges and the entire audience away.  Every single person were standing and clapping in amazement.  I was also standing in my living room with my jaw hanging down.  Nigel once again asked him if he wanted to stay or go.  Robert replied, “I am going to go.”

If you missed last nights solo check it out:

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I am sure that Nigel and the rest of the judges were disappointed with Robert.  But after thinking about it, I realized that Robert is amazing at what he does, but he realizes that he is a one-dimensional dancer and he knew he would be cut.  I actually respect his decision (even though I loved watching him) because he didn’t want to waste anyone’s time and let dancers who have trained their who live for this opportunity step up and move forward.

 I bet you that Robert will be in a commercial, music video, or movie in the near future.  He probably received enought air time to have some executive watch and realize that he will be a huge hit.

 Mark my words…  Watch out for Robert Muraine a.k.a. Mr. Fantastic on tv coming soon!

I would like to officially introduce myself to my blogging friends.  I am Jason Mobley, General Manager, of the Crestview News Bulletin.  I chose the title Opinionated Chaos as my blog title because I am a very opinionated person and sometimes are lives are in chaos.  I welcome your comments and your opinions as well.

 I wanted my first post to be based on traffic ponderings.  I drive a lot around town and up and down Hwy 85 for business and pleasure.  The other morning I was headed down to Fort Walton for a meeting.  When I pulled out on Hwy 85 I noticed everyone slowing down and finally creeping at about 10mph.  For 45 minutes I slowing inched further down Hwy 85 until I closed on the 123 extention.  The whole time I thought that there must of been a wreck, a car fire, or a military plane crash.  I called the newroom to see if they had heard about a wreck and the scanner was clear all morning.  Once I got to 123 I saw that there was a car pulled over on the side of the road and was completely uninhabited.  I realized that everyone was slowing down to rubberneck at the car.  It blows my mind why people slow down for nothing.  I am sure that they had to get to work but they caused hundreds of people to be late.

 Also why do people pull out in front of cars and don’t speed up to the speed limit?  I guess they expect you just to slam on your brakes because of their unthoughtfulness.  I wish that I could install a rocket system on my car to allow me just to fly over their vehicle without even slowing down.

If you are driving the speed limit and you see a car pulled over by a policeman why is it necessary to slow down if you are in the fast lane?  It’s not like you are breaking the law.

 And finally, why do people speed through school zones?  Do they not care if they hurt an innocent child?

What recent traffic experiences have you had?  I welcome your opinions!